Emer O’Donnell
Emer O’Donnell tells us that, “With over 20 years of experience in psychology, working in global organisations and as a qualified behavioural change coach, in 2016, I recognised a gap in young people’s education. It was a need to support them to navigate our uncertain, often changeable world which leaves so many feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, lonely and lost. This is because, at their very foundation, they struggle to know who they are, where they fit in and what they want to create in their lives. This is why I became a creator of the Q Pathfinder, a digital resource that explains what makes each of us unique. I also founded TeenReconnect to proactively give young people the tools to learn how to live a life they love and to guard against tragedies like suicide.
I now focus all my work on empowering young people, parents and educators to create meaningful connections and relationships, emphasising the importance of well-being for sustained performance. I am passionate about making a difference, believing that young people deserve better.”
What were your initial years of growing up like? Tell us about your life before starting your professional journey/venture/initiative and what inspired you to choose this career.
I was raised in the west of Ireland and later in the east of the country by my mother and while he was alive my grandfather, along with my two older brothers.
My mother is an amazing person and one of the kindest and most resilient people I know. She has run her own business in the past, in later life she travelled the world with her work and can seem to turn her hand to anything. We didn’t have a lot of spare money growing up but we had plenty of love and attention. She is still a brilliant role model now.
As a younger child, I used to travel around the country with my mother on and off as she worked so I attended so many different schools and mixed with lots of adults from all sorts of backgrounds. I would be popped into a school for a day or so and then spend my evenings staying and dining in the hotel with my mum. It gave me an interest in observing people and made me fearless if I needed to meet anyone new. I also knew with my mum’s work if I behaved and stayed quiet I could spend more time with her so watching people was a great pastime. I also learned how to navigate the playground which as many children can tell you as a newcomer can feel like the wild west at times. So, when it came to what to study at university psychology, the science of human behaviour, was an obvious choice for me.
Was there any turning point in your life that changed your journey? If so, what was it? Please tell us the backstory behind it.
Over twenty years ago I divorced my husband. I had a young baby to look after and I left my ex in the London marital home and moved to the countryside. I left a secure job I loved and that was a hard choice but I knew deep down that to look after my son I would need to make a change. Working and living in London wasn’t something I could afford and I also would never get to spend much time with him if I stayed in my existing job. I got a job working for a racing team but it became apparent quickly that it was on the verge of bankruptcy. The fear I felt was overwhelming with no close family in the UK or close friends to support me, no local jobs that matched my skill set to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I didn’t know what to do and although I tried applying for jobs I got nowhere because I was applying out of desperation rather than from a place of alignment. That is so obvious when you bring that energy in with you when you interview. I know that now. I noticed however that the racing drivers I had been working with were not in this mental mess. They could push aside their fears and focus instead on what they wanted and could control, with purpose and passion. They lived presently. They pushed beyond any limiting beliefs so they didn’t sabotage their performance. They focused their daily attention on their dreams rather than running away from their fears, regardless of the obstacles or potential failures they faced. They found joy in their day and had a winning mentality. So, I realised I needed to be more like them. Then the results I got changed. I got a job that ended up working perfectly, where I could work from home, unheard of 20 years ago, with only some travel and therefore I could balance it all with raising my son. That taught me that we can change our lives if we know what we want and we come from a place of love and self-belief, rather than from a place of fear and lack. It creates a different kind of energy and it impacts our results. It makes you realise you can create much more in your life than you may have previously thought possible. That changed my thinking and behaviour going forward and I have been on a learning journey ever since so I can challenge myself even if it is scary at times venturing into uncharted territory.
Tell us about your goals, interests, and role models.
We need to give young people new tools to know how to connect with and nurture themselves to have healthy minds. With the poor mental health statistics around the world and high levels of youth suicide, we know what is currently on offer to them is failing many. Ideally, this should be delivered at home or through their education system. For this learning to be effective it has to be personalised because then it lands. Now I feel we have the opportunity to use the power of technology and a quality coaching approach to transform lives in a positive way to deliver this new learning so it can be accessed by many, not just a select few. That is the primary goal I want to deliver whether I work with parents and their children or teachers and their students. As I mentioned earlier my mum is my greatest role model.
Everyone has their own set of challenges when starting an entrepreneurial journey. Still, the most essential part for others to learn is how you deal with those. Would you like to share with us your challenges and your coping mechanisms?
Like many others, I can fall foul to my inner voice which when moving beyond my comfort zone can be unhelpful in what it tells me I am capable of. It would rather that I remain stuck in the old known environment that provides certainty, even if I am not progressing, rather than walk into the uncertainty of what I want to create. So I use my own programme materials to handle my challenges as I believe you should live your own material and not just give it to others to live.The 7Q Programme is a Magic Bridge of self-awareness development tools underpinned by science, psychology and coaching so that I can push through my fears and have my attention and energy aligned in the direction of travel I want to be in. This is rather than reacting to events outside me that are total distractions and attention energy stealers. You can visit www.teenreconnect.com/EmerODonnell to understand more about these if you wish.
What impact do you feel you have been able to create with your work so far and how would you want to grow in the next few years?
My work has empowered young people to be able to turn their lives around and create what they love. I want to do so much more of this work through partnerships with others so this new learning can move beyond my scope and reach. It is work that is focused on building better connections and relationships between parents, guardians or careers and their teens and innovative educators who work with teens.
While the global pandemic of COVID-19 is associated primarily with adversities, it has also brought about a true boom in startups, with successful entrepreneurship in many countries. The pandemic has impacted all of us in one way or another. Would you like to share your experience on a personal and professional level?
I had been working on and off from home for over 20 years so that aspect of Covid didn’t impact me at all. It was business as normal. I am also a borderline introvert so not needing to travel all over the place for meetings suited me fine. I love being able to connect with people around the world with such ease now using technology. What was impacted was the Q Pathfinder. It is a digital tool for young people to be able to understand who they are under the bonnet so they appreciate what drives their behaviour in key areas like stress, confidence, learning, careers, and relationships. I was working on it with other psychologists and an amazing team of professionals. When Covid hit it wasn’t possible to bring it out into the world. So rather than feel there was nothing that could be done I took the opportunity to work with it extensively in my coaching practice with young people. From those interactions I developed the 7Q programme along with my understanding of the Negative Cycle many young people were stuck in, the Positive Cycle they needed to be in and The Magic Bridge to take them across that divide. It is important to never let a setback stop you in your tracks.
Your journey and your vision are very inspiring, but are there any achievements or accomplishments you would like to mention?
Every time I coach a young person and they arrive feeling overwhelmed with the sparkle diminished in their eyes and I know my work can change this it gives me a wonderful sense of achievement. We go through the 7Q Programme and they get the tools to connect the dots on who they are and what they can do in the world, learning that they are everything they need to be to succeed. When I can train others to do this work e.g., a teacher in a school it is immensely rewarding too as I know that more lives can be enriched with this new learning beyond me. I have also just written my first book ‘Understanding Teen Stress & Anxiety. A Parent’s Guide To Building Love & Connection. I am super proud of this achievement as I feel parents really need more support now to raise their teenagers to succeed in the uncertain world we live in today.
Would you like to share with our young budding women entrepreneurs the change you would like to see in the world if given an opportunity?
I would like to see an end to the needless conflict created by a few that impacts the lives of so many in such a negative way. Through better education, we can each learn to become more self-aware of our stories and challenge them, learn to be more objective and get closer to the truth and not just be stuck in our own version of it. By being able to stand in each other’s shoes we have the opportunity to see what unites us rather than divides us. United we are far better placed to solve the world’s problems rather than just go on creating more of them for future generations to fix.
What’s the most important thing you have learned in your personal life and professional journey? What is your personal motto in life?
You have the opportunity to create your own life and a big part of this is that you take responsibility for your choices and learn from them. Always ask yourself if you are coming from a place of fear or love when making decisions. Don’t ever let the unknown hold you back from fulfilling your dreams. Remain curious as it will take you way further than just being in judgement mode. Motto – Hang out with radiators, not drains and remember you are already perfectly complete just as you are.
Women are a growing force in the workplaces worldwide, standing shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts. There are cracks in glass ceilings everywhere, with many women breaking through to carve out a space right at the top of the pyramid. What are your thoughts about women’s leadership today?
We need more women leaders and I think we could achieve this if we could remember as women that real leadership comes when you know you don’t have to turn up in someone else’s mould to succeed. It is not always about blending in. It is about standing out for all the right reasons and delivering in a way that works for you and those you love. We need to empower young girls in education to find their voices so they can do this with a sense of autonomy and greater comfort. When women can reject any pressure to conform and stand in their power and be authentically themselves, that is far more attractive than a fake version of something they are not. I think great women leaders play to their own rules. They get out of organisational systems that don’t support them and what they value and believe in. They are brave enough to create something better and they lead to empowerment. Attracting the best talent is always where companies can gain a competitive edge. If they don’t want to lose future female talent then they are going to have to adapt their cultures to be more inclusive of their unique skill sets and the natural strengths they can bring to business otherwise they will turn up and lead elsewhere. There is a different generation coming through and they are going to expect that change and will want to see company values like these being played out for real. So business needs to take stock of this.
With your grit and determination, you are making a considerable impact, breaking through, and serving as role models for many budding entrepreneurs. What would you want to say to our young women leaders/audience reading this?
The world is your oyster. You just need to know what you want to create. If you find your thing and you are serving others in a positive way, I believe you will in return be served. Don’t doubt yourself. Just get up and make a start and keep going making progress every day. Joy is also the greatest of states. So never forget to stop and have some fun along the way. Remember too you deserve the very best and you have everything you need within you to go and get it but you have to want to go and get it and be prepared to be brave and never give up.