Dr. Mary Lamia’s journey into psychology was born from deeply personal experiences of loss, resilience, and an enduring curiosity about the human mind. A psychologist, psychoanalyst, professor, and author, she has dedicated her career to understanding how emotions shape our lives and decisions. Her story is not just about overcoming challenges, but about transforming them into a lifelong passion for helping others. At Humans of Fuzia, we are honored to spotlight her inspiring journey, which continues to empower women and men alike in embracing emotional intelligence and following their dreams.
Q: What inspired you to begin your journey in psychology?
I think our early life experiences shape who we become. My own childhood, marked by the loss of my mother when I was 11 and my father at 22, made me curious about how people adapt, how emotions guide us, and why we feel the way we do. I was drawn to psychology through literature, and in college, inspiring professors led me toward the field. Over time, I became a psychoanalyst and focused on affect psychology—the psychology of emotions—which has been my passion ever since.
Q: What challenges did you face while establishing yourself?
When someone loves what they do, they find a way to make it happen. Of course, there are always obstacles—like the fact that California has countless psychologists. But my passion drove me forward. I never dreaded going to work; I love what I do. Challenges became opportunities to grow, and I feel very fortunate to have built a career I truly love.
Q: As an author and solo practitioner, how do you balance your work?
I’ve always been a solo practitioner. Writing books and teaching for 25 years required a lot of determination and discipline. I believe that if you want to do something, you have to make the time for it, even when it’s hard. For me, writing is driven by a love of learning. Researching, reading, and discovering new insights all inspire me to keep writing.
Q: Can you share a milestone that stands out in your career?
One of the most meaningful experiences for me was speaking to students at one of the poorest universities in the U.S. Despite poverty and hardships, their emotional intelligence was extraordinary—greater than what I often see among graduate students in the Bay Area. Their resilience and ability to believe in themselves was inspiring. It validated what I’ve always known: adversity often fosters profound emotional insight.
Q: What are your thoughts on women in leadership today?
Women are fully capable, and it’s about time they are recognized as equals in all spheres, including government and leadership roles. But the reality is, it’s hard to “have it all.” Balancing education, leadership, and motherhood can be challenging. Time is finite, and sacrifices are inevitable. Still, women continue to prove their strength and capability in leadership positions.
Q: What message would you like to share with aspiring women leaders and entrepreneurs?
Follow your dreams. If you pursue them, something meaningful will come of it—maybe not exactly the dream you imagined, but perhaps a new path you hadn’t considered. What matters is that you don’t sit still waiting for opportunities to come to you. You have to take steps forward.
Q: How do you personally define success?
To me, success means doing work that you’re passionate about and that inspires you. If you love what you do and feel fulfilled in your career, that’s success.
“Follow your dreams—something will come of them. It may not be the dream you first imagined, but it will be something worth pursuing.” – Mary Lamia
Connect with Mary Lamia: Mary Lamia, Ph.D. | LinkedIn
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