Emily Pasnak-Lapchick
Emily Pasnak-Lapchick is a Social Impact Coach and Consultant. She is the founder of Chrysalis Exchange.
She tells us that, “I work as a coach and co-creation partner to support individuals and organizations focused on social change. I live in St. Petersburg, Florida in the United States with my life partner, Andrés and our two cat companions.”
Tell us about your life before the venture/ leading up to your venture?
Prior to launching Chrysalis Exchange, I worked in the nonprofit sector for over a decade. I wore a lot of hats, being part of the design, launch, and management of 9 new programs. I was involved in community engagement, public awareness campaigns, advocacy movements for child protection, supporting fellowship programs, and more. As someone who has always been passionate about humanity, equity, and justice, it felt like a natural fit for me.
Over those ten years I had experiences which felt deeply aligned with my values, enabled me to work on issues I was passionate about, effect change, collaborate with incredible partners and peers, and grow as a person and a professional. In those years I felt connected to a sense of purpose, in partnership with the community, fulfilled with work, and my confidence grew and grew. However, I also had other experiences where I was questioning whether the work I was doing mattered, working in cultures that were not good for my health, and saw a lot of the hypocrisy of working to create an equitable world while experiencing deep inequities inside the workplace. Those years were really draining.
In both of those scenarios, I experienced burnout for different reasons. In the first, I cared so much about work and it was a massive part of my identity. I poured a lot of my energy into work while neglecting myself. In the second, there was so much misalignment with my values that it was suffocating me. My burnout was so bad – and consistent – that about four times a year I would get an immobilizing pain in my neck and back and be bedridden for several days. For a while I accepted this as somewhat normal, not fully realizing – or accepting – the impacts it was having on my health. Eventually, I knew something had to change. I had become a shell of myself and it wasn’t sustainable.
I hired a coach and began to reconnect with my values while thinking about how to create harmony between meaningful work and a vibrant personal life. Soon into that experience I started coming home to myself. I knew I wanted to become a coach to hold space for others to go through their own transformations and use my experience to create a coaching practice focused on the connection between individual and social change. From there, Chrysalis Exchange was born.
Tell us something about your organization. What is it about and how is it helpful for people?
Chrysalis Exchange supports people who are engaged in social change to define a vision for their life and take action to transform the vision to reality. People who do social change work are so focused on others or a particular mission that we tend to neglect ourselves, often contributing to burnout. Part of my work is to remind folks that in order to be effective in creating change we must take care of ourselves.
In our coaching partnership, clients have a dedicated time to learn about themselves. Together, we get clear on their values and how aligned their life currently is with those values. We uncover the thoughts, beliefs, and actions which are creating tension in their life, and work to shift those so more energy is available to focus on what they desire. What’s unique about a coaching partnership is unlike a mentor, teacher, “expert”, friend, or peer, I don’t tell clients what to do. My role is to hold space for clients’ own self-discovery by asking questions to reveal what’s most important to them, regardless of anyone else’s opinion or vision for them. A lot of this is about reclaiming their life.
I’m committed to pointing out how harmful social norms and systemic inequalities – often caused by patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism – have impacted clients and how the narratives from those systems have become internalized. We’re frequently untangling a messy web of inherited narratives and norms that don’t align with the client’s true feelings or values. Then we figure out how to break out of them. Inner work coupled with an analysis of systemic oppression is how we not only get free ourselves, but create societies where everyone is free.
What has been the response of the consumers towards your venture?
From the beginning, it was important to me to do business true to my values. Since coaching has historically been 1) very expensive and 2) reserved for more senior staff, it was vital for me to make my services more accessible to more people. To do this I chose to focus on economic justice and use a sliding scale for all 1:1 coaching clients.
It’s been a huge experiment and I’m over the moon at the reception. There are scenarios where clients say off the bat they will pay at the top, others who have expressed they’ve always wanted to work with a coach but never been able to afford it before, and may who sign up because of the values-alignment they feel with economic justice. Last December I had a client write to me to say:
“This holiday season, I would like to pay it forward for someone in need of a couple of coaching sessions. I love how you use a sliding price model, and I hope this can help someone who could use coaching support right now.
I believe the work you do has a ripple effect in others – I’ve experienced it myself! And during this time when I (and too many others) are facing heightened emotions and feeling the weight of the world, this is just a small token of goodness that I want to share.”
Receiving that email and seeing how the pricing model and coaching support had meant so much to a client was a full circle moment for me.
Part of my long-term vision has always been wanting to have a community of business owners who are shifting culture and contributing to a more accessible world. Earlier this year I hosted a session for other coaches to explore how to root their pricing models in economic justice, and the reception was so good that I’m currently working on opening a session up to all entrepreneurs.
On a separate note, I was recently honored as one of the top 15 coaches in Tampa Bay, the region I live in! What was incredibly special was to be listed alongside one of my mentors, Bridgette Simmonds, who has been a support to me since the early days of launching my business. Sharing this honor with her a few years into launching my venture has been a highlight of my year.
How has your life changed because of your venture?
My life has changed in so many ways.
My understanding of people has expanded dramatically in ways I didn’t expect. In supporting people in the intimate partnership of coach-client, I see every day the challenges people grapple with internally. The majority of the things we feel we face as individuals are really the result of harmful systems we live under. I also get to witness their dreams and visions for their lives and communities – and it’s utterly beautiful. There is more interconnectedness amongst us than we realize and there are so many people who want to do good and live differently. That gives me hope and sustains my belief in people and our ability to create change.
On a personal level, I have more influence than ever over being able to live in line with my values and how much I’m able to express myself as a professional. That’s been scary sometimes and also incredibly freeing. Each time I go to my scary edges and use my voice around something I care about, I blossom a little more into my full self.
There are also ways it’s more challenging. Being an entrepreneur is HARD. You are wearing all the hats and learning all the tools in order to get your gift and passion out to serve people. It’s a constant journey of self-compassion, grace, and continuing to believe in myself and my vision.
What are you working on right now?
As an ADHD entrepreneur, I usually have a few projects in the works!
First is The Career Catalyst: For Folks Working in Social Change to Get Clarity on their Next Steps. This program is developed after over 3 years of supporting people through pivotal moments in their careers. It brings together a suite of resources, exercises, and tools to help people align their career with the vision for their life. This is the first time I’ll be facilitating a group coaching program and I’m really excited for the pilot to launch!
In the midst of all the catastrophes, disruption, and uncertainty around the globe, I’ve also been dreaming up a series focused on Collective Visioning for Alternative Futures. We’re often so focused on what we need to tear down, and it’s essential that we create space to imagine what we want to create in place of the current structures. Capitalism has stripped us of the time, energy, and space to dream, and we must reclaim that when we can. I’ve personally been craving more of these visioning conversations and I’m excited to do this in community.
Give a motivational message for the audience/women who are reading this.
The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself. When you create a strong relationship with yourself, you create a foundation for your life. How do you do that?
Remember you don’t have to feel good or confident everyday. Often people think that’s the goal when in reality some of the most badass people I know deal with a lot of fear and doubt. What we’re really working towards is a belief in ourselves that’s so unshakeable it allows us to move forward despite the hard days, take courageous action in spite of our fears, and honor all the beautiful facets of who we are. Confidence grows every time you take a risk, invest in your dreams, and yes, even when you “fail”.
Treat yourself with compassion. Have grace when things don’t go as you planned. Fiercely believe in yourself. Tend to your emotions. Love yourself radically. Make time for the things that are important to YOU, no matter their importance to anyone else.
This is a practice just like anything else, and you get better at it the more you try. This practice will have a ripple effect on your life and those around you. No matter what storms arise, you know you have yourself.
Get in touch:
https://chrysalis-exchange.com/